If you have been single for more than a year and find that love seems to be nowhere in sight, it will probably be pretty hard to have faith that you can find a partner. You may be afraid to believe that a true partner is out there for you and to open up to the vulnerability of hope.
You may think you are being strong and rational in your stand that maybe love isn’t going to happen for you. You wear a mask telling people that you don’t need a relationship or that you aren’t ready for one yet. But, this mask is only covering up the shadow of fear of being alone forever. Even if others don’t see your deeper desire for love, you know the truth. The yearning is still there.
You attend family gatherings, baby showers and weddings with a brave face, getting triggered every time someone asked if there is someone special in your life. The holidays are torture and anger increases with every sorrowful look from relatives about your single status.
You may have had hope at one time and believed in love, but multiple disappointments have dissolved any hope inside that something will change. With each let-down, the wall builds around you as a protection from hope until it is almost extinguished.
You build up the evidence for your hopelessly single case as a barrier around your heart. You defend your lack of results with the “facts” that it is hard to meet someone at your age, at your size, at your income level, in your city, in your profession, and so on. The defenses of love keep you safe inside your cocoon so no one can hurt you.
Most people think vulnerability is a weakness, but it takes strength and courage to let down the masks that hide your deepest self. You deny the part that wants to be romantic, that wants to hope and really believe because you are afraid that if you don’t find it, you will look like a fool.
Opening up to the vulnerability of hope requires dropping the mask of “I don’t care” or “The odds are against me” and really standing for what you want to believe. This will not only change your state of mind but will also affect the quality of your dating life. You will be happier and approaching love with joyful anticipation and your dates will feel your open heart.
The key has always been inside of you. Look at the places where you do not allow yourself to be vulnerable and be brave enough to open them up. Your deeper self will no longer be shoved aside by your surface doubts and your true essence will begin to shine brightly in the direction of lasting love.